You built something significant before this happened. What was that like?
For years it felt like I was operating above what should have been possible. I did not sleep enough. I did not stop. I thought that was just what building something required.
What changed?
Nothing dramatic. That is the part that is hard to explain. I just could not decide things any more. Not big things. Small things. What to eat. Whether to reply to a message. The circuitry for decision simply stopped completing.
Did you know what was happening?
Not at the time. I kept thinking it was a productivity problem. I tried systems, schedules, accountability. None of it touched it because the problem was not organisational. The problem was that the permission had been withdrawn.